Naruto Goes to PoT
by kappamaki
Summary: Completely random, completely OOC, and completely unintelligent. Still, it stars Uchiha Itachi as the "Prince of Tennis". Will he lead his team of Sound Four plus others to the Nationals? Just a stupid crossover I had the urge to write.


Notes:

            This is completely random, completely OOC, and not intelligent at all. But it does star Uchiha Itachi as the Prince of Tennis! Will he be able to lead his teammates, the Sound Four and others, to the nationals? Naruto, Prince of Tennis Xover.

Disclaimer: 

Naruto, Prince of Tennis, their characters, and anything associated with them do not belong to me.

**Naruto**** Goes to PoT**

Bored eyes looked around the street as a young boy walked to school, his black ponytail flapping in the wind. He had just spent the last eleven years of his life living in America, and had won four tennis tournaments in the last two years. The distinction had earned him the title "Prince of Tennis" due to his skills and his young age. Now his family had moved back to Japan, and he was enrolling in a Junior High School with a very well known tennis club. In fact, it was the same tennis club his father had been in when he was in junior high. The boy didn't actually care that much about winning tournaments and titles, he only had one goal. He wanted to beat his father. His eyes narrowed, remembering just that morning when he and his father had played a tennis game together...

Orochimaru laughed at his son, his snake-like tongue unrolling and swinging from side to side. It tended to do that when the man was happy. It really was very gross, his son thought, the way it left saliva all over his chin. "Is that all you have, Itachi? Your skills are laughable!"

Itachi clenched his teeth together, red eyes glaring at his father. He picked up his racket, which had fallen out of his hands from the force of Orochimaru's serve, and pointed it at the older man. "I will defeat you!"

Of course, Orochimaru being a former professional tennis player, the game ended with Itachi's swift defeat. The boy quickly chibified, tears spilling out of his red eyes, as Orochimaru laughed maniacally above him, before he got bored and went off to look at his latest issue of Young Boys Weekly. Yummy.

...

But here, at Kohona High, Itachi was sure that he would develop the skills to defeat his father. He walked to the tennis courts, watching a bunch of eager freshmen scramble around catching balls.

"Scram!" He said as most of them ran away in fear. The others were simply frozen to the spot, unable to move, and Itachi kicked them out of the way.

"It looks like some one's picking on our lower classman," came a voice.

A second voice chimed in. "You can't treat our ball catchers like that."

Itachi turned to see who had dared spoken to him like that. They were two girls. "Who are you?"

One of the girls made to answer, but Itachi cut her off. "Not you. I was talking to the pretty one."

The girl sputtered in indignation. To Itachi's surprise, the pretty one didn't look too happy either.

"My name is Sakon! And I'm not pretty, I'm a boy!"

Itachi looked Sakon up and down. He was wearing lipstick... and pearls... and had the silkiest long hair he had ever seen. "Umm... right."

"And my name is Tayuya!" Tayuya exclaimed, not wanting to be left out. "We're part of Kohona's undefeatable Sound Four!"

Ah. Itachi realized that they were two members of Kohona's tennis team. He drew his cape up with a flourish, seeing fit to introduce himself. "I am Uchiha Itachi, the Prince of Tennis."

Tayuya gaped, she had heard about this Itachi. With him on their team, they would definitely beat Nationals for sure!

At that moment four other young boys came walking onto the court, and Itachi realized that they were the rest of the team. 

"My name is Jirobo," said a particularly bulky fellow, "the third of the Sound Four."

"And I am Kidoumaru, the last of the Sound Four."

Itachi wondered what the hell the Sound Four was... after all, there were supposed to be six people on the team not counting him, and what did sound have to do with anything? It didn't even have the slightest correlation with the school or mascot, the mascot being a dancing mango. Itachi looked over to the two member's who hadn't yet introduced themselves, a small, brooding silver-haired boy and a large, strange shark-like fellow. A large, shark-like fellow who happened to be wearing the same flowery black cape and fashionable straw cone hat that he was.

"I like your outfit," the shark said.

"I like yours too. I'm Itachi."

"Kisame."

The silver-haired boy cleared his throat, getting every one's attention. "I'm Kimimaru, the captain of the team. As you all now know, we have a new player on the team, Uchiha Itachi. I'm also happy to announce that we have a new coach as well. Let me introduce you to..."

Sakon shivered as she felt something slimy slither past her feet, and gave a small yelp when it slunk up and revealed itself to be a person.

"... Orochimaru-sensei."

"Please, call me Oro-sensei." Oro-sensei leered at Kimimaru, his eyes looking up and down at that lovely prepubescent body. He was literally drooling over the fourteen-year-old. "You're perfect... absolutely delicious... I must have your body for myself..."

"Oh, Oro-sensei." Kimimaru shoujo sparkled at his coach, eyes large and shiny.

"Dad!" yelled Itachi. Like any other Junior High student, he was thoroughly embarrassed that one of his parents was getting involved in his life. And hitting on one of his team mates, no less.

"Dad?" The Sound Four looked back and forth between Itachi and Oro-sensei. Itachi, with his red eyes and attractive features, and Oro-sensei, with his purple skin and foot long tongue. "So you're... Uchiha Orochimaru?"

"No," said Oro-sensei, without an explanation.

"Actually," Itachi said, "I killed my real family."

"Really?" Kisame's eyes lit up. "I killed my family too!"

Wow, Itachi thought, looking at this boy that had so much in common with him. Maybe he had found a new best friend. He turned back to the rest of the group to clarify. "Orochimaru took me in, and I'm only staying with him until I can finally beat him in tennis."

Kimimaru glared defiantly at Itachi. "You'll never beat Oro-sensei in tennis!"

Tayuya, on the other hand, had decided to discreetly whisper at the new coach. "Are you okay with Itachi trying to beat you at tennis?"

Orochimaru shrugged and whispered back. "It beats him trying to kill me."

And so, introductions finished with, Oro-sensei grabbed Kimimaru to "discuss team strategies" as it was, although by the very loud sounds coming from the adjoining locker room the team had concluding they were doing anything but. The others took it upon themselves to start practice... after all, they had a game against Seigaku Junior High the next day.

* * *

Itachi glared at the little boy standing in front of him. "I lived in America for eleven years."

Echizen Ryoma glared back. "I lived in America for eleven years."

"They call me the Prince of Tennis."

"They call me the Prince of Tennis."

Itachi was about to call Kisame over to eat this annoying little runt, but remembered the shark boy had gorged himself on two annoyingly cheerful Seigaku girls earlier. Well, one of them was annoyingly cheerful, the other was just as annoyingly shy. At any rate, the boy was sure to be stuffed.

"We'll just have to settle this on the courts," said Itachi, eyes flashing dangerously as he made his way back to his team.

Unfortunately, Itachi would never get to play Echizen, because their captains and coaches hadn't seen fit to pit them together.

"Listen up," said Kimimaru, "this is how it goes. There will be five matches. There will be two doubles matches, then three singles matches. Whoever wins three out of five matches wins. Kisame and Itachi are playing Doubles-2 against Inui and Kaidoh. Sakon, you'll be playing Doubles-1 against the so-called Golden Pair Eiji and Oishi. Kidoumaru, you'll be playing Singles-3 against Echizen. Tayuya will play Singles-2 against Fuji. And I, of course, being the best player on the team, will play Singles-1 against Tezuka."

The announcer called the Doubles-2 players to the court, and Kisame and Itachi dutifully went to take their place, still in their heavy cloaks and hats. The Seigaku team sweat dropped at their outfits.

"Fushhhhh..." Kaidoh hissed. "Is that what you're wearing?"

Itachi looked down and blinked. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"Never mind that," said the referee, "let's just start the match."

It wasn't long before Seigaku took a VAST lead, considering the fact that Kisame didn't really know how to play tennis. He had joined the club because he thought it would be fun to chase balls around.

"This isn't working," said Itachi to his new best friend as they took a time out. "You can't play tennis, and you always manage to crash into me when I go after the ball. From now on just sit to the side and watch, and I'll try to use the mange sharingan on them."

Kisame nodded and went to obediently sit down on the tennis court. Itachi went back up to court, returning the other team's serves and waiting patiently for a chance to use his mange sharingan. It wasn't long before his adept eyes saw an opportunity, and he rushed to the net... only to trip over his cape.

"Inui and Kaidoh win! Six games to love!" Called the referee.

Itachi grabbed a water bottle and stomped off to the bench, looking for all the world like a disgruntled child.

"It's okay, son." Orochimaru patted him on his head like a good boy. "You played your best."

"Doubles-2, please step up to the court."

Seigaku's Golden Pair watched, befuddled, as only one person came up to the court.

"Nya," commented Eiji, "where's your partner?"

"Don't worry about that, let's just play."

Soon though, the game was ending up just like the previous one, with Seigaku kicking Sakon's ass. Sakon realized he had to do something, and called upon his ace. Seigaku watched, horrified, as a head popped up out of Sakon's body, only to become another body in itself and detach.

"Is that legal?" Oishi demanded.

The referee looked over at Sakon. "I'll allow it."

"There's no way we can lose, Ukon!" Sakon said to the other boy.

"My sentiments exactly, Brother."

Orochimaru grinned. "Sakon is the strongest of the Sound Four. He won't lose."

Unfortunately, the pair neglected to realize that Ukon didn't have a racket, and lost anyway.

Things were not looking up for Kohona when the referee called for the next match to start. Every one was surprised, to say the least, when Kidoumaru walked to the court wearing an actual tennis outfit, with wristbands and everything.

"What?" he asked. "I like tennis."

Except for the fact that he had six arms, it was a relatively normal match, which Kidoumaru actually won. Echizen ran crying off the court.

"Yes!" yelled Kisame. "We're back in the game!"

Next up was Tayuya versus Fuji. Itachi looked around, realizing this was a good time for a pep talk from the coach, but didn't see Orochimaru anywhere. "Where's Dad?"

Kimimaru discreetly nodded to the side, where two suspicious suited men stood. "They're from child services. Investigating charges of molestation and pedophilia."

Ahhh. No wonder Orochimaru was missing. Itachi took it upon himself to give to pep talk, grabbing Tayuya by the shoulders and spinning her around to face him. Unfortunately, he was terrible at giving pep talks, never having wanted to actually pep any one up before, and he could only get out one word. "Win."

"Umm... okay."

Tayuya stepped out on the court, Fuji watching her suspiciously, although you couldn't tell because he was smiling and his eyes looked like they were closed..

"Where's your racket?" he said.

Tayuya smirked and reached into her sleeve, pulling out a... flute. She started blowing into it, and two large monsters holding rackets materialized.

"Now I know that's not legal!" Oishi shouted from the side lines.

The referee shrugged. "I'll allow it."

Under those conditions, even the tennis prodigy that was Fuji couldn't win. The tournament was soon tied, with Kohona with two wins, and Seigaku with two wins. Kohona rallied together, cheering... actually, not so much cheering as sitting on the bench and looking not unhappy... and realizing that Kimimaru just couldn't lose. Until they realized Kimimaru wasn't there any more. Orochimaru, however, had returned, now that the social services agents were gone.

"They took him for questioning," he explained, looking like he was about to cry.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" ground out Itachi from between clenched teeth. He looked over at Jirobo, their alternate, who was eating a box of donuts at the moment. "There's no chance in hell Jirobo will win against Tezuka."

"Hmm." Orochimaru looked up at the sky, his chin in his hand as he contemplated the situation. A light bulb appeared above his head. "Why don't we just kill every one? Then they'd have to forfeit and we'd win by default."

Every one blinked at Orochimaru. It was such a simple solution. They looked up at the referee. 

The referee shrugged. "I'll allow it."

So that's exactly what they did.

~owari~


End file.
